


Unprofessional Romantic Liaisons: A Sprinklor Story

by mutanthairything



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Deliberate Badfic, M/M, Sprinkler fanfic featuring Sprinklor, Transformers Plug and Play Sexual Interfacing, in-universe fiction, on-screen Sprinklor/Megatron expy, poorly written smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 14:22:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20909093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutanthairything/pseuds/mutanthairything
Summary: Among Minimus Ambus' sprinkler system fanfiction includes one featuring the stalwart Sprinklor and a former enemy of the fire fighting brigade.aka What if Minimus also wrote self-insert smut fics?





	Unprofessional Romantic Liaisons: A Sprinklor Story

In the right-center of the datapad shelf hid one of his fiction-holding storage devices in plain sight. All of his unprofessional works were written under “Minimus Ambus” – Ultra Magnus did not dabble in poetry or adventure stories – which were far too personal to share freely. This was one of the most secretive collections: fiction purely conceived for the purpose of self-indulgence and curiosity that was never meant to stray beyond his eyesight.

It had been several cycles since he last reviewed his work. Magnus tapped the tempting corner of the datapad with his finger and slid it out of its place. The datapad was of a smaller size; apt for servos belonging to Minimus Ambus. Before he took it to rest on his berth, he surveyed his habsuite one last time to check for onlookers. All was well. No one in the vents, no steps in the hallways, no bugs. He walked the armor to the corner of the room, shut off connections, and stepped out to quietly partake of his work.

  
  
  
  


Megabomb knocked on the door to Sprinklor’s apartment. While the second-in-command frequently spoke with their enemy-turned-informant, they met in offices and conference rooms they booked the day prior, as their relationship was perceived as a strictly professional one by the public and their colleagues. However, as evidenced by this blatantly casual meeting in the late hours when the remainder of the crew were occupied with personal obligations or night shifts, their liaisons were secretly of the romantic nature.

_ Minimus was proud of the last sentence. It made for an excellent twist in the introductory paragraph, a “hook”, as one would call it. _

“Good evening,” spoke Sprinklor as he opened the door.

“Good evening,” replied Megabomb as he entered.

Sprinklor closed the door, careful as to not alert the neighbors that a guest had arrived. While visitors were not banned from the residential complex, this visitor planned to stay overnight to participate in an intimate activity, and notifying others was not the intention of the two. Megabomb walked down the hallway towards the berthroom, and Sprinklor followed him.

“May I prepare a glass of energon for you?” asked Sprinklor.

“I am well, but thank you for the offer,” declined Megabomb. He had fueled before leaving his habitation, but as a guest, it was polite not to outright refuse.

Sprinklor had rearranged the fifty-nine awards he had received for his diligent work in combating fires, with half of them were laid on top of the furniture. This would stabilize their placement in the possibility Megabomb bumped into the wall in the middle of the night, as it would be dark and he wouldn’t desire to wake Sprinklor with a light. The berth was recently dusted to prevent contamination of their interface ports and joints. The surfaces on his roof were wiped in the hopes that Megabomb would find them aesthetically pleasing and more receptive to intimate advances.

Sprinklor pressed the “play” button on the music player and lowered the volume to half the intensity of typical conversation. The romantic song lead to another by a different artist but with a similar tempo, rhythm, and lyrical themes. He selected the list so that the play time would be at optimal length and to create minimal disturbance to their activities.

“Are you ready?” suggested Megabomb.

Sprinklor smiled and sat on the berth. “I am.” He removed the cover of his interfacing panel with care and set it leaning against the countertop away from the berth, where the risk of either Sprinklor or Megabomb hitting it was minimalized, since crushing that plate would mean leaving a mech's ports and cables exposed, which might damage them and later cause problems with recharge and diagnostics processes. Megabomb removed his interface panel in response and set that besides the berth. Sprinklor corrected this oversight and moved it several paces away.

“It is important to leave a clear pathway to the door when preparing for recharge,” Sprinklor explained.

“I apologize. Thank you for keeping our safety in mind,” Megabomb acknowledged, then smiled. “But we are not preparing for recharge, unless our plans have changed since we last spoke, which would make your removal of your interface array incredibly misleading. You are a fastidious and considerate firefighter, Sprinklor, and I would have been warned if we were to rest together and nothing more.”

Energon flowed to Sprinklor’s faceplates. Its movement was spurred by the embarrassment he felt at Megabomb’s compliment and erotically-charged topic.

_ Minimus had to tilt the datapad away and stare at the blank wall to calm down. Like Sprinklor, he felt a flush in his cheeks and a slight heat spreading through his frame, but there was no handsome if forbidden mech waiting on the berth. This sort of material needed to be read slowly and with frequent breaks. _

Megabomb waited for Sprinklor to join them in the berth and began to unravel their cables in preparation for interfacing. First, they prepared their supporting connections. While many mechs believed this step to be optional, this stabilizes the frames of the two parties while providing emergency connection points for corrupted or interrupted data. To immediately plug the main cable was to risk damage to one’s processor, especially if he did not know the history of his partner. 

As each wire was tested for durability, Megabom and Sprinklor arranged themselves into comfortable positions in which to rest once they directed their attention away from maintaining proper posture.

“Would you prefer that we both plug into one another’s ports, or shall one of us be the sole connection?” inquired Sprinklor.

“We should work our way to more intense sessions. You may insert your cable into me,” assured Megabomb.

It is important to communicate one’s preferences and avoidances before engaging in interfacing, which is an activity built on trust. Due to the immediate and quick connection two mechs share when plugged into one another, one puts himself at risk when he lowers every firewall protecting non-vital data processing, which is not recommended in any circumstance unless no other action can be taken in order to protect oneself, which is extremely rare and highly improbable. Consensual interfacing is an exception.

_ He had to include the explanatory information, obviously. It’s important to teach readers about safe port and cable use…even if he was the only reader. _

With the ancillary connections prepared to stabilize their frames, Sprinklor inserted the thickest cable into Megabomb’s port and allowed their systems to synchronize. The size of the data package was overwhelming to his systems, due to his inexperience, but Megabomb held back on his transfer of information to allow Sprinklor time to adjust.

_ Granted, Minimus could only guess as to how it felt. Medical books helped with the descriptions. Romance novels, while fictional and prone to exaggeration, somehow felt more true to reality. This went against all common sense, yet it worked. _

Once Sprinklor took control of his own data center, he allowed his thoughts to enter Megatron. The flow of data between the two continued. Both were cautious to regulate the transfer as to ease into a comfortable rate. It was a pleasurable experience, but they were careful not to harm one another despite the intensity of their emotions. 

Sprinklor felt Megatron’s genuine guilt—

_ Did he write in the wrong name during his initial draft? How careless of him! Minimus deleted the incorrect word and replaced it with Sprinklor’s love interest. _

— through the connection, and in return, allowed Megabomb to feel his acceptance. The former violent criminal wished to make amends and support the firefighting crew, even if it would never balance out his crimes. He saw Sprinklor as an upright, competent, and respected second-in-command who deserved personal affection alongside professional acknowledgement. His desire was to see to his happiness without requesting favors in return. Sprinklor believed him to someone who understood his needs, making him a mech with whom he wished to share his personal thoughts.

After some time, both mechs felt the overload of information approach. They allowed themselves to loosen their limbs and wait for the temporary white-out to pass. When Sprinklor resumed regular processing rates, he placed his hand on Megabomb’s arm to keep him awake. Their cables and cords remained attached, which must be rectified before recharging. As tempting as immediately resting after interface, it is highly dangerous due to the sensitive connections being maintained.

Megabomb nodded once in control of his mental faculties and pulled Sprinklor’s cable from his port. Sprinklor retrieved is cable as Megabomb undid their other connections.

“Thank you for this session,” sighed Megabomb.

“It was my pleasure,” joked Sprinklor.

Once they gathered enough energy to sit upright, the two retrieved their interface panels, inspected them for dust and dents, re-attached their protective plating, and laid side by side on the large recharge slab.

“Good night,” they whispered to one another.

  
  
  
  


“Well!” Minimus hummed as he shut the datapad off. “That was enough of that.”

This story was a personal favorite of his, having been written in a two-hour session without an immediate review for proofreading. The subject matter didn’t express itself properly when not in a certain state of mind.

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of Minimus writing terrible erotica wouldn't leave me, so this exists. I don't know anything about plug and play interface fanon so some details are things that made sense in my head.


End file.
